Here is more from the booklet Skill with People by Les Giblin. What I want to select today about skill with people is How to Skillfully Listen to People. Read, learn and apply.
The more listening you do, the smarter you will become, the better you will be liked, and the better conversationalist you will be. A good listener always winds up far ahead of a good talker in people's affections. This is because a good listener always allows people to hear their favorite speakers: themselves.
There are few things in life which will help you more than becoming a good listener. However, being a good listener is not an accident. There are five rules that make a good listener.
1. Look at the person who is talking. Listen with your eyes as well as with your ears.
2. Lean toward the speaker and listen intently. Appear as if you do not want to miss a single word.
3. Ask questions. This lets the person who is talking know you are listening. Asking questions is a high form of flattery.
4. Stick to the speaker's subject and don't interrupt. Don't change the subject on a person until they are finished.
5. Use the speaker's words - "you" and "your." If you use "I, me, my, mine" you are switching the focus from the speaker to yourslef. That is talking not listening.
These five rules are nothing more than courtesy. Never will courtesy pay off for you so much as it will in listening.
Enthusiastically,
Gary Burke
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